In Port Vila, where I spent half of last year. This place is and will always be the place that shook me to my very core, where I have learned so much about myself and that caused me to shift my paradigm,.
This is against my nomadic nature, to come to a place where I have already hunted and gathered. I am one to move on, never coming back because I’ve already harvested the thoughts, lessons, and experiences I could from a place. But having said that, I acknowledge that I am what I am today because of the nourishment that this beautiful paradise so generously offered me.
But I think this is going to be good for me. I see now that coming back, allows me to reap the benefits of the seeds that I sowed last year. The friendships have bloomed but stay rooted to where it was planted, lessons are still waiting to be picked from the tree and acres of adventures still await.
That is not to say that it has been without difficulties. There is something both painful and overwhelming in the realisation that the place where you breathed, talked and lived has evolved without you. The place itself has changed. So many new buildings, shops, cafes that did not exist last year have popped up all over the place. In such a transient place such as Vanuatu, many of my friends have gone and those that have remained are somehow different. And of course there’s me. I am not the same lost little girl who didn’t know what to do with herself. To come here knowing that Melbourne is now home gives me a whole new perspective.
The changes are refreshing and yet a bit off putting. I long for the familiar but the difference that a year can make is encouraging. I left this place with a heavy heart with threads that flopped in the wind, which slowly unravelled me. But leaving allowed me to pick up another piece of me and weave myself another life in Melbourne – one that is proving to be a beautiful tapestry of experiences. In my three weeks here I hope to tie up the loose ends I left here, finally hang what I have woven on my wall to look at every once and a while so I don’t forget.
July 1, 2009 at 9:19 am |
chay! very well said. i liked how you said “here is something both painful and overwhelming in the realisation that the place where you breathed, talked and lived has evolved without you. ” gosh i so agree with you!! how long will you be in melbourne for? forever? are you working there? im back in canberra! job hunting!
July 3, 2009 at 6:05 am |
Visit me in Melbourne when I get back from Vanuatu! I’m doing Masters so I am here INDEFINITELY (linya ng walang direksyon sa buhay). Back in The Can, huh? how’s that for you?
of course you could relate to this post. you’re a nomad too!